a four lettered word


It follows me. Nags me. Tortures me. 

Until I forgot where I am. 

Until the end. I have no idea when that will be.

It’s everywhere. 

It never stops. And all the while, I feel the strings tugging, restricting not my breath, but my control. They call it self destruction, I heard. 

The control. 

The lack of. 

The spiralling out of control. 

I just want to feel what everyone is talking about. So far, I feel it webbing away. Slowly, slowly. And for once, I am letting myself drown with it.

unedited. and abandoned. October 2021. Paris, France. ©le_chah_errant

Just some thoughts from the train ride back earlier this week. And in Paris we came across this abandoned bicycle. So there… enjoy. 

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