Wallflower

on

The wallflower screams yet no one

hears her.

Yet she keeps

in touch with everyone

she cares about.

Her opinion still matters but her voice is invisible,

a little bit like the mute cat she hugs every night. He’s barely there, always there, completely useless as he’s mute.

That’s her opinion. Muted.

She relished in the crowds, in the protests, in the “We want action!” “We want change.”

But she’s wiped. She can’t even get up the stairs without heaving her breath.

She’s a walker. And yet look. Look at her now.

The wallflower is screaming. She is not okay.

But do you believe her when she writes it to you?

Do you believe her when she tells you during that call she begged you to do?

She has a voice but she doesn’t trust it anymore.

Her opinions look shallow, a shell of her past self, who was a flaming raging fire.

Where do I go from here? Why doesn’t he love me? Why can’t they hear me? What is this echo of my solitude doing in the corner, ready to bolt?

I am the wallflower. I have opinions. I have desires.

Why can’t I believe them anymore?

10 Comments Add yours

  1. paulkayaian says:

    Tis the spring and everything blooms anew: flowers from their dormancy, trees from their limbs, and the human spirit, double quarantined from the cold and you-know-what. Tis the spring for all things especially the human spirit. Rise to meet the new day and its warming sunshine, cast off the mask of the virus that confined your smile and soul and breathe free with a smile!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. beachah says:

      Thank you Paul, always a pleasure to hear from you. And thank you for the encouraging messages. πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. Lovely work BΓ©a…greetings from Spain,
    FBC

    Liked by 1 person

    1. beachah says:

      Thank you Francisco.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome BΓ©a, happy weekend to you!
        FBC

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Nadine says:

    “I am the wallflower.” Bea, brave work gal. I remember feeling like this so often sometimes. Very well expressed. As paul indicated above… we are all under a lot of pressure. Keep well in yourself. I need to take time off for “internal housekeeping at times” — i.e. focus on only what is absolutely necessary, and in our immediate surroundings, what brings you love and joy, in this case the wallflowers cat for example. Cats have zen minds, I believe. Not mute maybe, maybe just zen. I miss our gone kitties, may they rest in peace. Anyway, I’m rambling now, and giving advice that is likely not at all needed, to someone with such innersight. Much love to you, and keep writing… I’ve been writing for myself only the past little while. Feels rejuvenating. :)) 🌷🌷xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. beachah says:

      Thank you Nadine! The advice is well received. I welcome with relief and joy. The cat in question is not a living being as such. He’s a stuffed animal, poor dear, hence “mute” but a cute little ball of grey floof to keep company. I will keep writing. It’s the one thing I’m happy has not escaped me. I completely agree with you on that point. πŸ™‚ πŸ’—πŸŒ·

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nadine says:

        Awww ok I see what you mean about the kitty! πŸ˜… Though as a kid I firmly believed even floofies had feelings (great word btw πŸ˜‚ :))… anyway, thanks for the lovely, lovely reply, and I’m glad to hear you’ll keep writing, though I had little doubt. πŸ€©πŸ€—πŸ’—πŸŽ‰πŸ™Œ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. beachah says:

        Awww I agree! (But he sleeps all the time or likes looking at my screen as I try to work…)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Nadine says:

        πŸ˜†πŸ’›πŸ€—

        Liked by 1 person

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