Words from yesterday

Yesterday, I tore up the map of NYC. It was staring me from the blank wall and it was too many thoughts. Past and present.  And the future is always an illusion.

NYC is no place to go back to.

I tore up the map into pieces, so small I cannot put the streets together. My memories torn apart. Not quite.

The winds of anguish, pleading to stop the bleeding of emotions of exhilaration at skyscrapers, trees, bricks, and ageless brisk walking. My need to create a blank page was greater than this anguish. I need a blank canvas again.

So yesterday, I tore up the map of NYC, I shredded its streets to cleanse myself of it in my head.

Can I have a canvas to cover again now?

An unstaged visual of my shredded memories. March 2021, Strasbourg. ©le_chah_errant

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Rush Naf says:

    Nice 🙂🙂
    You are creative blog writer.. I visit your site..
    Beautiful 😍.

    If you like motivation & education story.
    Please follow Me.!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. beachah says:

      Thank you! I will most definitely take a trip to your blog to read.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. paulkayaian says:

    Sorry, but unless you had a full blood transfusion, you will never be free of NYC, haunted or otherwise. That you cannot re-create “exhilaration” is understandable – can we ever really “go home” again? Is the addict’s “high” the same every time? No, but the desire for replication is and is strong. Is every orgasm with the same partner the same? Definitely not, but do you tear them to pieces in anguish and disappointment? That would be more selfish than the quest for the orgasm itself.
    So try as you may and try as you might, NYC will always be here…and there, indelibly in your soul.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. beachah says:

      You’re right. We can never get rid of some place, which imprinted itself on us so powerfully. But there are times when we also need to stop living in the past, or in our memories. A clear head is necessary sometimes, no? The tearing of a map was not anguish but something to do in order to get a clear head.

      NYC is always here. Just not omnipresent anymore, which is good. Thank you for reading.

      Like

  3. Msdedeng says:

    This is a powerful statement, Beachah.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. beachah says:

      Thank you Ms.Dedeng.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Msdedeng says:

        My Pleasure, B.

        Liked by 1 person

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