I couldn’t write last week. I couldn’t publish. I don’t like being too personal on this blog but given the events of 4 August, last Tuesday, I had no energy all week.
A traumatic event is an emotional upheaval. I saw 9/11 with my own eyes as a child, growing up in front of Manhattan. I went in a frenzy in November 2015, after the Bataclan, where family lost a loved one.
What happened in Beirut, though, is not the same. So the only way I can speak is with my fountain pen, my rage, my grief and my wits left over. I’ll leave the analysis to another day as I am in the middle of reading, note-taking, analysing what happened. Everyone is in shock. So this week, I leave you with words I got off of my heart a few nights ago.
My family is safe, merci pour la question.
Mais les autres? Destruction totale.
La vie en lambeaux. Cette ville en lambeaux.
Hier sea bathe, aujourd’hui, la guerre converti.
Moi détruit complètement.
You, completely on your knees.
There’s no going back. There’s just going forward, except this time, the blindfold is off.
Finally, I hope.
We are human. Comme moi. Comme toi.
We have emotions. Anger, grief, sadness, sleep. How much? Too much.
Don’t stop. Throw the rocks. We asked nicely in October. You didn’t listen.
I was there. I wanted to know for once.
Moi, sans cette nationalité, qui coule dans mes veines.
Ma famille va bien, thank you for asking. How about yours? What happened? Our country is dead.
But we’re not. And we’re sick of it. On en a marre.
Vengeance, grief, anger, sadness, sleep. How much? Too much.
Buildings damaged. “On a évité le pire.” Le pire… Qui est là? Moi, le néant. Je te tenais à l’écart. Là. Là. Là. Et là. “Et maintenant, on va où?” dit le film.
To those who still have not understood: Why? Why? WHY? Why do you insist on us suffering? WHY?!